When I get hungry, I don't just get "hungry," I get desperate, shaky, irritable, drowsy, unable to make a decision, overwhelmed and sometimes will start to cry. Apparently, this is not a normal reaction to hunger. Who knew? I get intense and undeniable sugar cravings, sometimes so desperately that I will actually eat a spoonful of straight brown sugar. Gross, right?
I was always lean and even skinny growing up. At 31 (gulp) and post-partum, I can't just eat whatever I want now. And, frankly, I'm tired to feeling like crap, thinking that I need to lose these few extra pounds and then wild groping dark cupboards at 3AM for a sugar snack. I guess I've recently been thinking that a) I had no willpower or was lazy and b) that maybe I just need to be "okay" with the way I look and feel - that we can't have everything. I don't really think that either of those things are true, though.
After doing a lot of research, I do think that I have an allergy or maybe just a sensitivity to yeast. I was on a lot of antibiotics as a kid for UTI's and kidney infections, and every woman knows was antibiotics lead to (hint: YEAST INFECTIONS).
Pretty goddamn ironic considering I'm starting a pastry program in about 6 weeks.
Well. Here are the steps I'm going to take to help myself feel better:
1. Go on a yeast-free diet
2. Eat small meals, making sure to eat every three hours
3. Start taking probiotics
4. Go to a naturopathic doctor who can help me figure out what's going on
The first three these I'm starting today. For the next two weeks there will be no cereal, ice cream, or pretty much anything else besides vegetables and lean meat. God help me. Or someone help me. Anyone. Hello?
I know that hearing about someone else's diet is really boring, so I won't linger here, but I just wanted to jot all this down so I can revisit and hold myself accountable. Make it true by saying it out loud. Or something.