Unplanned Parenthood

On Reading

So, remember when I was all, OMG I'm going to read 100 books in, like, 20 minutes and then write about them?  Yeah, me either.

The thing is, I did read 4 of them.  The first, Housekeeping, I read when I had Strep throat and I still don't really remember it.  The second, Heart of the Matter, I loved and I did write about.  Then I read On the Road and American Pastoral and didn't like either of them.  So, I picked up Agatha Christie.  And I think an issue of US Weekly.  I'm fickle, is what I'm saying.  Also, just in case you didn't know, I like to get my hopes and expectations up so high that no piece of literature could possibly live up to them and then walk away in disgust when they fail to engross me and change my life.  I mean, I always finish books, but...

Okay, fine.  I didn't finish American Pastoral.  I found myself skimming and flipping through the last third of the book and finally just put it down.  I never, ever do that.  There have been times I've wanted to and I stuck with it and ended up loving the book (i.e. Middlesex), but I just could not hold out hope for this one.  I didn't care about the subject matter (middle-aged Jewish male identity crisis story), was annoyed with the characters and, quite frankly, just don't have time for bad books anymore.  The really disappointing part of this is that I had such high hopes for both Roth and Kerouac.  I feel personally disappointed in them, which is fully irrational but it is what it is.

So!  I made my statement by throwing the book down and spending several weeks emersed in trashy magazines and murder mysteries (side note:  I had no idea that Agatha Christie books were so good and, well, frightening.), a statement that was only heard by, um, me, and now I'm back on the path.  I just started reading White Noise by Don DeLillo.  Keeping fingers crossed that he lives up to my totally impossible set of expectations.

Hopefully, I can concentrate and be able to read on the ferry over Mr. Must Make Commentary About Every Article in the Newspaper to Strangers Around Him (MMMCAEANSAH).  He's sitting there, on the ferry, (PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, let me remind you) and suddenly he will burst out with, "Oh my god, listen to this [insert headline and his own commentary on the subject here]" to stunned people around him who feel they need to engage him with a response.  I have to physically stop myself from reaching over, ripping the paper out of his hands and beating him with it.  Or just hissing at him.  SO ANNOYING.

Yeyoh (Yellow, for those of you unfamiliar with toddler-ese)

All of the sudden, Jack is going through this huge language development.  He's not only saying words and using them appropriately, but he's putting them together.  Like he's a real person or something.

He recognizes the color yellow, says hi kitty and bye-bye kitty to the kitty who lives downstairs from us and is often outside.  He is obsessed with Brown Bear, Brown Bear and loves to point out the dog (Isa goggy!  Woof Woof!) (Sometimes the doggy also says meow, but we're working on that.).  It's been amazing over the last couple of weeks to watch him start to grasp language and how it relates to and names the objects in our world.

Also, he's been a giant pain in the ass about books and how there are no more pages after the last page and OH MY GOD I WANT MORE PAGES, MOMMY FIX IT, but I take the good with the bad.  Or at least I try to hide utter annoyance after explaining the reality of the situation for the 57th time on the way to daycare in the morning.

Mostly right now my frustration lies in the fact that I have absolutely no time for myself.  When I do have time, I know I need to call family and friends and stay in contact with all the people whom I love, but I get to the end of my day or week and I just don't have anything left, and for that I feel bad.  I'm working on it.  I'm working on achieving some sort of balance.  It's all a big work in progress.

Testing, testing...

You know what phrase is complete and utter crap?  Terrible Twos.  They should be called Terrible Sixteen Months.  Or how about Please Send A Dingo to Eat My Baby.

In the last week Jack has started testing.  Testing, testing, testing and more testing.  Oh, you don't want me to touch the electrical socket?  How about if I stand really close to it and watch you?  What if I just kind of brush it with my fingers?  What if I do it with a smile?  Oh, mama.  You're funny when you get frustrated.  Okay, okay.  No socket.  What if I stand on the chair?  And try to drag down the water glass?  I bet if I scream really loud?  What if I go completely limp, scream and then grab the glass?  How about the candle?

It's a phase.  I know it's a phase and he's discovering his world and he's testing the limits and it's NORMAL.  However normal it is doesn't make it any less annoying and frustrating.

We went to Target yesterday morning (Yesterday is also known as Daylight Savings Day of Fucked Up Nap Schedule and Tantrummy Anger) and Jack REFUSED to sit in the seat.  The child can get out of any buckle now and he would stand in the seat, emmitting angry howls at the merest hint of me thinking about making him sit down.  Fine.  Stand in the back of the cart.  Oh look!  You're throwing everything out of the cart.  And now you're climbing out.  While you're screaming.  You hate your sippy cup.  And crackers.  And me.  Got it.

It was an abbreviated trip.  As is pretty much everything we do besides trips to the park, which are being sabotaged by rain because mother nature thinks it's autumn or something.  We haven't had rain in seven months and we're looking at water rationing, you say?  Here, stay indoors with my toddler for a full day and then we'll see how much you care about a drought.

I'm trying so hard not to get frustrated with him.  I know it's normal and he's a wonderfully sweet, curious, cheerful kid.  He's also strong-willed and fiercly determined.  I'm glad he posesses these qualities, they are just currently proving to be a wee bit challenging.

On the other hand: this boy.  Oh my goodness, this little boy is just amazing.  He can point out the green frog and he says yellow and lots of other words and he loves to play hide and seek and he's just a fabulous dancer.  And he's so happy.  So stubbornly, defiantly cheerful.