My normal commute is about an hour each way, sometimes longer in the evenings. Last night it took me 2 1/2 hours to get home. I will never understand the California Freak Out over rain. It's rain, it's not the apocalypse. In any case, I am forever grateful for the loveliness and distraction of the audio book. Right now I'm listening to Stephen King's 11-22-63 and it's totally engrossing. In typical Stephen King fashion it's loooong - like 35 hours long - and just when you think it might be dragging on just a little bit...BAM. Total suspense, a little gore and very graphic, very amazing storytelling.
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I hate talking about diet because a) it's boring and b) I so often have to start over because I fall off the wagon and c) I'm on a medication that makes it extremely difficult to lose weight, very easy to gain. The thing is: I love food. I love cooking, I love eating and I love the social & community aspect of it. The bad part is that I don't always make the best food choices. I'm kind of an immediate gratification person. If it sounds good at that moment, I'll make it and eat it. I was recently inspired by Andrea and though I don't have as much to lose, there was a lot that spoke to me. Specifically, "“Can you do it today, Andrea? Just today?” And I could. That question made each day manageable." So that's what I'm doing. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the idea of spending the rest of my life subsisting on rabbit food, I've started asking myself if I can just do it today. And, surprisingly, the answer, so far, has been, "Yes." And I feel really good about that. This is likely a Duh Moment for most people, but I get overwhelmed and anxious easily. Which leads to throwing up my hands, stress eating and then self-loathing.
Next step: exercise. I love exercise, now I just have to, you know, do it.
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Jack is doing a little better. Still some meltdowns that are a little over the top, but I do have to remember that he's four. Meltdowns are still part of the regular course of life. I mean, what the hell? *I* have meltdowns on occasion and I'm 30 years older than him. I can hardly expect him to grow out of it any time soon.
He's doing well as he's faced with many changes in his life. He's doing really, really well. He's an incredibly resilient kid and for that I am eternally grateful. It will serve him well in life. We provide as much stability as we possibly can. We do our best and that's all we can do. Our very best.
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I'm getting better at this "one space after the end of a sentence" thing. When I was taught typing it was drilled into our heads that there are two spaces at the end of a sentence. This is apparently extremely outdated and I am very late to the game. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. And speaking of old...it's almost my birthday. Birthdays were a lot more exciting 15 years ago, but I do think my thirties are, so far, my favorite decade. Hopefully, it just keeps getting better as these decades continue to stack up. But, one day at a time, enjoy the journey and all that. And, for the first time maybe ever, I think I really am.
So, there.
It is so good to see you blogging again! Jack is so big and so cute!
Posted by: Kelly @ Tooptumber | January 26, 2012 at 05:41 AM